Love and Science

I know many of you have been asking for an update, and I'm sorry it's been five months since I've lasted posted. Sheesh...that is long, even for me. It's been a whirlwind recently and between work, classes, Scarlett's dance and moving I've been overwhelmed. Tonight is actually the first night in a long time where I've actually opened up my laptop for a purpose other than looking for a storage unit or replacement kitchen faucets. Huzzah! Another big reason I haven't written is because we waited this time around before telling people (outside of the select few who knew about the transfer). I know that this last year I've been incredibly transparent about our infertility and what we have been going through. I am beyond grateful for all of the love and support we've received during this time as well. So thank you to everyone who has been cheering us on or has messaged me with a kind word or two, I do appreciate it. What stopped me this time around ...

Tonight's post is a happy one. Not that the other ones were necessarily unhappy, but tonight's is a full circle for 2017 but also a tribute to an anniversary. December 29, 2011 That date will forever be etched in my memory as the beginning and ending of everything. And it truly is. Six years ago today I found out I was pregnant with Scarlett. Life shattering Heart broken Devestated Just a few adjectives that surrounded that moment of realization when the insanely dense blue line that popped up wasn't a control line, it was a "dear lord woman, you are pregnant" line. I was twenty-three years old, home on winter break from my master's program, when I realized I was a few days late and the stomach flu everyone else in my family had may actually be a surge of pregnancy hormones for me. I honestly took the the test thinking it would ease my mind, that with the stress of finals and holidays I was just a few days off. How wrong I was. Liter...

I considered posting for a few days now, and was going to write what I was going through and how I felt. But talking felt better than writing. Thank you again for all the support.

I have been a total slacker. I've taken a break from writing to enjoy the glorious month off where I wasn't been poked, prodded or otherwise bothered with needles and ultrasounds. It was simply amazing after nearly 7 months of weekly (or more) testing and medications. It was much needed and I'm feeling great. That being said, by some lovely twist of fate I ended up sick from Halloween until November 20th. If you're wondering, that's over three weeks. So while I wasn't taking a thousand hormones, I was one two rounds of prednisone, two antibiotics and an antiviral for Influenza B, bronchitis, sinus infection and finally pneumonia. Despite that, it really was nice to take a break. We did a lot the last month, I celebrated my *gasp* 29th birthday, Matty and I escaped for a weekend to Milwaukee and enjoyed Thanksgiving with our family. That makes up from the rest of the crap. We started prepping for our transfer on 11/13, which surprisingly included more daily i...

Meet Pete! That spot with the little blurb coming out of it is "Pete" our embryo. Why is it named Pete? Well why the hell not? Actually, I kept calling it a "him" and told Matt I needed a pet name instead of calling it "it" or "him". (Side note: we have no idea if the embryo is a boy or a girl, immediately when I saw it I thought it was a boy. But based on my own guessing and being convinced Bug was a boy, it's probably a girl embryo) So Matt suggested we call it "Pete" which could either be for Peter or Petunia, we will not be naming our future child either, for the record. Scarlett was affectionally called "Zetus Lafetus" until we knew she was a girl. We went in on Saturday for our transfer. I worked the night before and had to haul ass from work, to get Matt and then to Highland Park. The procedure itself was simple. The wait was brutal, they had me drink a lot of water before hand, and for whatever reason I have...

I don't think I could possibly happier than I am right now. After 12 days we had our egg retrieval. It's funny, it reminded me of when I was pregnant with Scarlett. I was terrified of giving birth, but I wanted her out so bad that is outweighed my fear of child birth. That's how I felt today, I have been so uncomfortable and waddling around (when I wasn't horizontal) that I didn't care how we got the damn things out, they just needed to come out. I had my trigger shots on Saturday and Sunday, this consisted of two 80 unit doses of lupron. Essentially what it does it halt everything. It kills you estrogen (mine was 2,700 prior to the trigger shot). Nurse Barb described it as "forcing menopause" and let me tell you, I don't want to do that again. I had horrible hot flashes, nausea and abdominal pain. Except that it didn't hit until 3 hours after I had given myself the trigger. Also with all this crazy flux in hormones I couldn't stay awake. I t...